you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
