We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
