On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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