I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
