Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
