does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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