last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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