found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
