Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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