yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
