cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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