Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
