i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i out mim tonsoeep
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
