Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
