Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
