i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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