I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
