yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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