god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
