Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
