If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
