end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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