Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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