I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
