Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
