I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
