PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Randomize
