the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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