Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
