im drinking this country out of the recession.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
wow bdsm is so cute
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
