Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
its not stalking. its research.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
