i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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