she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
