in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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