I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I cockslap morals
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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