how can u be prego again
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
