if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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