Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
