So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
