my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
