I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
