you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
