Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
