Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
