...so i touched it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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