Where is the hickey?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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