i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
