I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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