Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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