I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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